We’ve all heard it. That little piece of advice often shared with a knowing nod: “Just fake it till you make it.” It’s meant to be encouraging, a push to act confident when you’re feeling anything but. While the intention is good, let’s be real for a moment. This advice is kind of trash.

Faking it suggests you need to be someone you’re not. It tells you to put on a mask and hope no one sees the real, uncertain person underneath. This approach isn't just exhausting; it's a barrier to genuine connection and real growth. It’s time we traded in this tired phrase for something much more powerful: authenticity.

Anyone who has ever felt like an imposter will find relief in knowing there’s a better, more honest path to confidence and success. You’ve got this. is for anyone who has ever felt like an imposter. We’re going to break down why "faking it" fails and explore a better, more honest path to confidence and success. You’ve got this.

The Problem with Faking It

The "fake it till you make it" mindset is built on a shaky foundation. It encourages you to project an image of competence you don't feel you have. While it might get you through a single presentation or a tough meeting, it creates bigger problems down the road.

This approach is a recipe for burnout. Constantly pretending to be someone you're not takes a massive amount of mental and emotional energy. It leaves you feeling drained, disconnected, and always worried about being "found out." This isn't a sustainable way to lead or live.

It Breeds Imposter Syndrome

You might think faking confidence would eventually lead to real confidence. More often than not, it does the opposite. When you achieve something while "faking it," it's easy to credit the mask you were wearing instead of your actual abilities.

You tell yourself, "They only liked my presentation because I acted like I knew everything." This creates a vicious cycle. The more you succeed while faking it, the more you feel like a fraud. You start to believe you don't deserve your accomplishments, which is the very definition of imposter syndrome.

It Erodes Trust with Your Team

People have a pretty good radar for authenticity. When you’re not being genuine, they can often sense it. A leader who seems to have all the answers and never shows a hint of vulnerability can come across as unrelatable or even dishonest.

Trust is the bedrock of any strong team. To build it, your team needs to know they are following a real person, not a perfect robot. They need to see that you, too, are human—that you have moments of uncertainty but are willing to work through them honestly. Faking it creates a wall between you and the people you lead.

It Prevents Real Learning

One of the biggest downsides of faking it is that it closes you off to growth. If you’re pretending to know everything, you can't ask for help. You can't admit you're unsure about something or that you need more training. This pretense traps you in place.

Real confidence comes from competence, and competence comes from learning and experience. By being honest about what you don't know, you open the door to mentorship, collaboration, and genuine skill development. Admitting you need to learn isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of a leader committed to growth.

A Better Way: Build It, Don’t Fake It

So, if faking it is out, what’s the alternative? It’s about building real, earned confidence from the ground up. This approach is rooted in self-awareness, honesty, and a commitment to progress, not perfection. It’s about embracing where you are and taking intentional steps forward.

This path is more challenging, but it’s also far more rewarding. It leads to a kind of quiet, steady confidence that doesn't disappear when you're under pressure. It's yours because you earned it.

Embrace the "Confident Humility" Mindset

The most effective leaders don't pretend to have all the answers. Instead, they practice what is known as "confident humility." This is the sweet spot between believing in your abilities and being aware of your limitations.

It sounds like this: "I am confident in our team's ability to solve this, and I know I'll need your expertise to get there." It shows you trust yourself to lead the process while also valuing the contributions of others. This approach invites collaboration and builds a stronger, more capable team. It’s about being confident in your capacity to learn, not in knowing everything already.

Focus on Learning, Not Performing

Shift your mindset from "performing" to "learning." When you walk into a room, your goal isn’t to put on a show of perfection. Your goal is to contribute, to learn, and to move the mission forward.

This simple shift can dramatically reduce feelings of anxiety and self-doubt. It takes the pressure off you to be flawless and reframes challenges as opportunities for growth. When you hit a roadblock, a learning mindset asks, "What can I learn from this?" A performing mindset just feels like failure.

Be Strategically Vulnerable

Being authentic doesn't mean oversharing every fear and insecurity with your team. That would be counterproductive. It means being strategically vulnerable. It’s about sharing your humanity in a way that builds connection and trust.

This could look like admitting you made a mistake and explaining how you plan to fix it. Or it might be saying, "I don't have the answer to that right now, but I will find out and get back to you." These moments of honesty show your team that it’s safe to be human. They demonstrate strength and integrity, not weakness.

Actionable Steps to Build Real Confidence

Ready to ditch the "fake it" mentality for good? Here are a few practical steps you can take to start building genuine, sustainable confidence.

  • Identify Your Strengths: Make a list of your actual skills and accomplishments. Read it often. This helps ground you in what you’ve already achieved and reminds you of the value you bring.
  • Acknowledge Your Gaps: Be honest with yourself about where you need to grow. Then, make a plan to fill those gaps. Sign up for a course, find a mentor, or ask a knowledgeable colleague for help. Taking action is the best cure for insecurity.
  • Collect Evidence: When you successfully complete a challenging task, write it down. When you get positive feedback, save it. Create a "brag file" of your wins. This isn't about ego; it's about creating a factual record to look back on when self-doubt creeps in.
  • Practice the "Act and Learn" Model: Instead of "fake it till you make it," try "act and learn." Take a small, manageable step forward. Then, pause and reflect on what you learned from that action. This iterative process builds both competence and confidence at the same time.